Day 8

Well, it has been a few days since I have logged on but I am happy to report that after a 3 day weekend, my weight this morning was 257. That is a loss of 3 lbs. Althought I wish it were a little more, I have to be realistic and this is not going to come off as quickly as I put it on. Isn't it a bitch the way that works? At any rate, at least I did not gain any bc I do not feel like I ate all that great over the weekend. I can say that I was thinking about it a lot more, I mean I was trying to make better choices and not stuff my face just out of boredom. It is amazing how many times a day food crosses our minds...I mean is that really all there is to think about? I hope that this week brings at least a 5-7 lb loss. I am going to try really hard to stay within my points and not to cheat at all. The gulit when I cheat is so bad, but obviously not bad enough bc I do it again! Why can't I be strong? Why can't I put myself first and take care of me before anyone else?

Day 3

Yesterday was about the same. I did fine until I got home. I cannot even write waht I ate, just that my weight was up 2 pounds this morning. I am sick...but am I really? If I were really sick over this I would do more about it, right? Last night watching The Biggest Loser was really an eye opener. They had people on there that weigh as much as I do, yet when I look in the mirror, I do not feel like I am as big as they looked. But the reality is that I am...I weigh more than some of them...I should be on the show. I did so good this summer, I am not sure why I cannot get that momentum back, what is it going to take? Today I will try again. Each day is a new day and every BLT counts (bite, lick, and taste)! I hope I can be successful, Just to get one week down of doing really well, and then I think I would be well on my way. My 1st goal weight for WW is 247, that is 10% of what I weigh. I can get there.

Day 2

Last night was not so great. I started out with my regular bowl of beans, but by the time I got home I felt as though I was ravenous. So, I had some cornbread with it. I hate to even type it because a person of my size has no business eating cornbread!! Then after dinner I had some oatmeal cookies with milk. Can you believe it!! Day 1 and I failed miserably. Oh well, the scale this morning still said 260, at least it did not go up, I had done so well all day and then sort of blew it when I got home! I will do better today. I have my day planned and know exactly what I am going to eat. I felt so guilty bc my mom and dad were over for dinner last night. I knew I should not have the cornbread, and the problem with being fat is that you always feel like people are watching everything you put in your mouth. We will see how today goes. I hope I do better. I have already had yogurt for breakfast and plan on a lean cuisine for lunch with a FF and sugar free pudding.

Day 1 con't

Just ate lunch. I had a Lean Cuisine and and apple with natural Peanut Butter. I have 15.5 points left in my day for dinner. It is an insane amount of points. I do not feel hungry although my stomach is growling a little bit. My mom says it is good to feel hungry once in a while bc it means that you are burning fat. That is good news. For dinner I plan on having a bowl of bean soup that we made yesterday, no cornbread and a fat free pudding for dessert.. I do not think that will total 15.5 points, but that is all I am going to eat. I do better when I have a plan, and now that I know what I am going to eat, I will just do it!!

Day 1

I will not be fat at the age of 40. I turn 39 on Jan 27th, therefore giving me 1 year to get it together. My current weight is an all time high of 260lbs. I cannot believe I just typed that. Those numbers astound me. I am not starting this because is is a Monday, or because it is the beginning of a new year. I am starting this because this morning when I stepped on the scale it said 260!!! I will be doing Weight Watchers. I have chosen this plan because it has worked for me in the past and I have total support from my husband while doing this plan. I also have a great support system from the rest of my family when it comes to losing weight. I believe that I am an attractive person, but not a FAT attractive person. I want to do this once and for all. I love clothes. I picture myself in cute outfits. This summer I started to lose weight to get fit for my 20th class reunion I lost some weight, but I still cannot believe I went bc I was not totally comfortable with the way I looked. After my reunion, I started gaining the weight back. I was so disappointed in myself and I know my family was too. My husand deserves to see me thin the way I wa sbefore I started having children. He wants to take me to Cancun this summer for our 10th wedding anniversary. I do not want to be fat for that so that gives me a goal. I have never blogged before, but I am hoping that this will give me a way to be accountable for myself and what I am eating. This is just the beginning, I have a long way to go, but I have to do this. I consider myself a fairly strong person, but I guess because I am so fat that I must be weaker than I thought. Why can others do it? I should be able to do it too, and I will. Today I joined WW online for about the 15th time. All the money I have spent signing up for WW could have been spent on pretty clothes. This summer my best friend is coming for a visit. She is super skinny. I soooo want to look great when she comes and just shock the you know what out of her. Everything I put in my mouth will be documented whether or not it is good or bad. I hope I have some people out there that will follow my journey. We took pictures the other night at New Years Eve. I will post those soon as my "before" pictures. I just need to learn how to post pics on here!! Wish me good eating and send me positive vibes!